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Wednesday, December 6, 2023

Amusing real estate ad evidence of deeper issues


A COLOURFUL real estate listing in Cairns raised eyebrows in August after describing the residence as a “war zone” and a “battlefield”, among other descriptors.

The advertisement, for a Manunda address, began making the rounds on social media after the listing title of “War Zone Bunker” drew attention on real estate website Domain.

There followed an unconventional description, which included “Artworks in carpark”, meaning graffiti, and “Huge balcony with camanding (sic) view over battlefield.” 

Amused commenters on Facebook and Reddit wondered whether the listing was a joke, brutally honest, or posted in error. 

“Is it the Property Manager’s last day and they’re going out with a bang?” one Redditor commented.

The listing was posted by property owner Robert Zmeskal using Rent Better, a conduit service enabling private landlords and sellers to make listings on real estate agent-only sites such as Doman and realestate.com.au.

At the time of publication, the listing had been edited by a third party to a condensed version, but prior to this it included the following: 

“Teritorial (sic) marking in stairwell (urine)”

“You wouldnt (sic) want to live there yourself but the return on investment is good”

The unit is listed for $250,000 and potential buyers are promised “Free entertainment” by way of loud neighbours, as well as “Artworks in carpark (graffiti)”.

Manunda is one of Cairns’ lowest socioeconomic areas known for high poverty and crime rates, influencing Robert’s decision to describe the suburb as a “god-forsaken place”.

Robert said the unflinchingly honest and tongue-in-cheek description of the property was in part due to his sense of humour, but also his need to be honest about the suburb and complex.

“I didn’t want to waste my own and others’ time so I thought I’d just say it how I see it,” he said.

I wanted to show my disgust for how things are in the area

Property owner Robert Zmeskal

“If you get locked out of your unit, don’t pee in the stairwell.”

He attributes the state of the complex to where his property is located.

“It’s near Raintrees Shopping Centre and you get derelicts walking past,” he said.

“The police have been to the complex numerous times, but nothing ever gets done.”

In terms of a solution to the issues facing the suburb, Robert did not hold back, saying that “police need to get off their arses and do something”.

“Real estate agents need to work for the landlords, not the renters, and put the rents up in these places.”

Robert has had two enquiries about the property so far, as well as several messages commending him on his unique approach to real estate advertising.

Keep up with the latest news in Cairns and the Far North, and check out some of our top stories this week: Harleys celebrates 30 years and three generations and Former mountaineer finds dream job at Cairns Hospital.

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